When you become aware of how often you`re customizing, you`re leaving autopilot so you can recognize your reaction in the moment. So maybe you can be open to alternative realities and say to yourself, “I don`t know what`s going on, but it`s about him/her, not about me.” Not taking things personally is a big step towards a healthy relationship. Whatever happens around you, don`t take it personally. Nothing others do is because of you. It`s because of himself. All people live in their own dream, in their own minds; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we assume that they know what is in our world and we try to impose our world on their world. Being human is beautiful and incredible, and it`s also complex. I am directly with you and I am learning to be authentic and willing to connect while allowing others to have their own process. When you take something personally, I invite you to treat yourself with compassion and gently remind yourself that you are loved and worthy by nature. Again, through this process, you can document your support system and remember the many people and places you can turn to to make a connection. I also took it personally when someone made plans and then broke the date. I assumed it was about me because I thought they had found something better (have you ever done that?).
Of course, it had nothing to do with me, but I was stuck in my reality and I didn`t take INTO account YOUR reality. Personalization has been weighing on me for a long time, but now I don`t worry about what others are doing or why they`re doing it. most of the time! This agreement is so difficult for me. I have always considered myself strong and confident, authentic and confident. Recently, when I was really trying to get out of my head and realized how scared I was of disappointing someone. I try to show people what they want in me by just being the parts of me that I think they accept and approve well, hiding the true self. This is clearly because I take almost everything personally. It`s telling to be able to see that. and yet I don`t know how to change it. How can I just think I`m good enough or even wonderful? And if it were me, wouldn`t others see it? I feel like when I tell myself that I`m just inventing things – another of my mental tricks. I want to feel good, but I really don`t know how. Not really.
I used to think that I could PROVE it to others and especially to myself by running marathons, doing my PhD, having the “perfect” life (marriage, children, career, travel, etc.), being a loyal and caring friend helping the less fortunate. basically, trying to be perfect. It`s not working. I always think I`m not worth it, I feel like a scammer, I`m afraid of being a disappointment for everyone. So, basically. I still have a long way to go. Even if one situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do and the opinions they give are based on the agreements they have in their own minds. If you take things personally, you make easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can easily tie you up with a small opinion and feed you the poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it.
Now, go through each scenario and list three possible reasons for the action. It doesn`t matter if they are true or not. The goal is to distract you from attention and open yourself up to other possibilities. Using the first example above, you might write, “There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you don`t take anything personally.” Thank you for sharing! And yes, isn`t it amazing how much your perspective changes when you stop taking others personally? He did it for me too. I love, I love, I love how I am less likely to personalize someone else`s mood and melody. Yes, when we take things personally, everything revolves around ourselves; our ego. We believe that the world revolves around us and that everything people do is specifically focused on us. Intellectually, this may sound ridiculous or extreme, but it`s what we do all the time without realizing it. That said, if you`re befriending someone whose words or actions hurt you, it`s healthy to set boundaries, set boundaries, and honor yourself.
You can experience great feelings, and these are all real and valid. Feeling hurt doesn`t mean taking something personally. However, in the healing process, it will be important to practice this agreement and reassure yourself that the person`s actions were not about you and/or your worth. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you don`t take anything personally. You become immune to the black mages, and no spell can affect you, no matter how strong it is. The whole world can chat about you, and if you don`t take it personally, you`re immune. Someone can intentionally send emotional poison, and if you don`t take it personally, you won`t eat it. If you do not take the emotional poison, it gets worse in the sender, but not in you. Over the next week, pay attention to when you take things personally. How do you know this happens when most of them are subconscious? They are triggered. You will feel that inner sting or you will run away and want to hide.
I used to personalize all the time. If someone asked me for my opinion and didn`t take it, I would get upset. At the time, I didn`t understand how a person with pain could continue to do what was detrimental to their emotional health. That`s because I didn`t see myself very well either. I didn`t see how giving advice kept me disconnected from others and emotionally distant. Some of my favorite points to remember from this agreement: “Don`t eat other people`s emotional garbage! Stop inflicting unnecessary suffering on me. -Choose to always follow my audition. If you get into the habit of not taking anything personally, you don`t have to trust what others do or say. You just need to trust yourself to make responsible decisions. You are never responsible for the actions of others; They are solely responsible for you. If you truly understand this and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the negligent comments or actions of others. Don`t take anything personally.
This is the second chord of Don Miguel Ruiz`s classic “The Four Chords”. I need a memory today. So I open his book on this chapter and read: You personalize when you`re sitting in a restaurant, and it takes your waiter 10 minutes to recognize your presence, so think he`s deliberately ignoring you (for countless reasons). The second agreement simply says: Don`t take anything personally. The second agreement invites us to recognize that we all work from the perspective of our own unique experiences. My point of view is different from your point of view, and while we may share a variety of similarities and connections, your actions, thoughts, and words do not concern me. Anything a friend posts on IG, tells me over coffee or thinks about how I dress, for example, is NOT ABOUT ME. (Emphasize because it`s still quite difficult for me to achieve, and I guess I`m not alone.) When I take something personally, I center myself, use limited information to jump to conclusions, and ignore its experience and perspective. Also, I tell myself falsely. When I take things personally, I ask myself (painful) questions like: Write this first and paste it somewhere where you see it every day: Don`t take anything personally.
But if you don`t take it personally, you`re immune in the middle of hell. Immunity in the midst of hell is the gift of this agreement. Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don`t have to take everything you hear in your own head personally. Do not take anything personally, because by taking things personally, you are preparing to suffer for nothing. If we truly see others as they are without taking it personally, we can never be hurt by what they say or do. Even if others lie to you, that`s fine. They lie to you because they are afraid. .